Confusion on Faith

Hi. Hm, I’ve send other questions previously, which you very kindly answered and I always feel a bit stupid asking questions, because I’m definitely lost and I never know what’s true.
I can go on my childhood believing in God and angels (mom’s influence), then teen years believing the same plus spirits (again, mom’s influence).
Then I came across your blog and others alike, and I’ve read so much stuff and somethings they just seem vague or like they collide, and I’m kinda in the middle of the road like what am I supposed to believe?
I’ve been a pretty positive person in the last few years, but that didn’t do me any good. I mean, the universe didn’t magically give me positive stuff.
But when I’m negative, I think…I might be wrong but, I think the universe throws good stuff at me, like trying to prove me wrong.
Do you see why I’m confused?
I genuinely don’t know what to be believe in.
Sometimes I think that maybe you (as in, illuminated people) are just a group of people who smoke pot and you see things and you think it’s true.
I really don’t mean to offend anyone, it’s just desperate thoughts.
I need to have something to believe, you know? Because if I don’t, then its a lot harder…
I’m young, I’m 21 and its perfectly normal to feel this lost, but I don’t want to feel lost. I want something to believe in, somewhere where I can put my feet on and know it won’t just disappear.
I’m sorry. For this text. I know you closed the ask/submit, but I was dying to talk to you, and I’ve waiting and waiting…
Also, I’m really happy you had a baby. I want to be a mom too. It’s a beautiful thing.
You probably won’t know what to answer to this one…because it’s not even a real question. Just a messy text.
Also, I’d appreciate it if you could post this anonimously…
Thank you so much, for your patience and your kindness.
Much love.

— AnonFor one, Thank you for being honest and being you <3 Being a mother has completely changed my entire world but i wouldn’t want it any other way, my little guy teaches me new things everyday and he’s helping me learn to become more selfless and  compassionate.  It’s a challenging journey but when you’re ready, it’s wonderful.

That being said, the HUGE word that sticks out to me with all of this is CONFIDENCE. This has always been one my of my biggest issues but it comes down to self-worth. You ask me to tell you how to believe and who to believe in but you’re forgetting about the most important person in the equation, YOU!

Believe in yourself. I am merely a friend to lean on, i can show you the door but you are the one that has to walk through it and see it for yourself.

Being positive is a wonderful thing but if i know the law of attraction its always about positivity towards yourself and others. The way you write leads me to question if you are positive towards yourself. We all go through lessons in life but if question the Universe by self doubt and pity we’re still playing the victim in situations instead of accepting them. I’m trying to write this in the kindest way because i’m sure many of us have went through this, questioning why bad things happen to good people, why do we have suffering in the world, why do i have to suffer to find salvation, etc. we have all been here but try to trust me when i say everything happens for a reason. Our Higher self is guiding us this entire time showing us what we need to see and heal us in order to grow. This is not about looking for the answers externally, they will be forever inside of you. You create your reality by the power of your thoughts. If you can’t touch your own heart, how are you supposed to touch other people. This is not about mom’s influence, bf/gf influence, friend’s influence, this is not about my influence, this IS about you and you need to see that. You are searching everywhere except yourself, why are you running?

Confusion starts from lack of faith in yourself, you are searching for a direction instead of learning you are the direction. I can tell you all sorts of things but it’s going to be pointless until you see that within yourself and go through your own experiences of clarity. You can believe in Angels, Spirits, God, Universal Order etc. but you also have to believe in yourself. It’s beautiful to open ourselves to these energies but how can you grow if you are not seeing that you are also this beautiful energy yourself 🙂

So i think this comes down to issues of the Solar Plexus, this is stopping you from your full potential, you need to see this within your will power and self-confidence.

Letting you in on a little secret this is more than just pot smoking or taking psychedelics and seeing things. This is realizing you ARE drugs. I have numerous experiences being on absolutely nothing and vast sychroncities that connect to the next. These things are merely tools of consciousness. You are your strongest teacher, your own personal guru, your catalyst, your divine star, your Lucy in the sky with Diamonds, this is ALL you through the connection of Divine Order within the multiverse. So you can think what you want about pot or whatever but what it really comes down to is experience, self-worth and opening yourself into the divine light that you are.

I hope this helps

Much love and healing light <3

Ash

p.s. Thanks for the Patience, as my love once told me. Patience is truly a Virtue <3

Ashley
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