That being said, the HUGE word that sticks out to me with all of this is CONFIDENCE. This has always been one my of my biggest issues but it comes down to self-worth. You ask me to tell you how to believe and who to believe in but you’re forgetting about the most important person in the equation, YOU!
Believe in yourself. I am merely a friend to lean on, i can show you the door but you are the one that has to walk through it and see it for yourself.
Being positive is a wonderful thing but if i know the law of attraction its always about positivity towards yourself and others. The way you write leads me to question if you are positive towards yourself. We all go through lessons in life but if question the Universe by self doubt and pity we’re still playing the victim in situations instead of accepting them. I’m trying to write this in the kindest way because i’m sure many of us have went through this, questioning why bad things happen to good people, why do we have suffering in the world, why do i have to suffer to find salvation, etc. we have all been here but try to trust me when i say everything happens for a reason. Our Higher self is guiding us this entire time showing us what we need to see and heal us in order to grow. This is not about looking for the answers externally, they will be forever inside of you. You create your reality by the power of your thoughts. If you can’t touch your own heart, how are you supposed to touch other people. This is not about mom’s influence, bf/gf influence, friend’s influence, this is not about my influence, this IS about you and you need to see that. You are searching everywhere except yourself, why are you running?
Confusion starts from lack of faith in yourself, you are searching for a direction instead of learning you are the direction. I can tell you all sorts of things but it’s going to be pointless until you see that within yourself and go through your own experiences of clarity. You can believe in Angels, Spirits, God, Universal Order etc. but you also have to believe in yourself. It’s beautiful to open ourselves to these energies but how can you grow if you are not seeing that you are also this beautiful energy yourself 🙂
So i think this comes down to issues of the Solar Plexus, this is stopping you from your full potential, you need to see this within your will power and self-confidence.
Letting you in on a little secret this is more than just pot smoking or taking psychedelics and seeing things. This is realizing you ARE drugs. I have numerous experiences being on absolutely nothing and vast sychroncities that connect to the next. These things are merely tools of consciousness. You are your strongest teacher, your own personal guru, your catalyst, your divine star, your Lucy in the sky with Diamonds, this is ALL you through the connection of Divine Order within the multiverse. So you can think what you want about pot or whatever but what it really comes down to is experience, self-worth and opening yourself into the divine light that you are.
I hope this helps
Much love and healing light <3
p.s. Thanks for the Patience, as my love once told me. Patience is truly a Virtue <3