I feel like i’ve turned into a Monster

hi there,
so first I’d just like to say that this blog has seriously been a life saver since I found it a few weeks ago, so thank you a zillion! second, I was just writing to see if you had any insight or thoughts on the feelings that are coming up for me right now. Now I definitely know there’s been a TON going on astrologically (mercury being in retrograde/going back direct this past weekend, lunar eclipse etc) as well as with the earth, and I know that these two together are just a breeding ground for potentially confusing energies and over all just not feeling good. Beyond having issues focusing my energy and feeling like I can hear everyones thoughts and feel everyones feelings alll at once (which by the way I haven’t felt this way in forEVER), I am feeling this horrible, venomous, malicious annoyance towards EVERYONE around me, and for literally no reason. Its so bad that while Jekyll side of me is out there thinking(and sometimes saying, as much as I hate to admit) horrible mean things about everyone,the Hyde part of me has a set of pretty hurt feelings just hearing all the awful things her evil twin is saying/thinking lol!(ps I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I’m an empath/indigo/crystal…all three feel the same to me) Now in general I can be a little sarcastic but never cutting or mean or anything like that, but now all of a sudden I’ve like turned into this monster! Another thing that made me kind of freak about this is that I came down with a cold..which isn’t all that out of the ordinary for this time of year for me…but my head and neck feel like they/re in a vice and i have a rash all over my face chest back and a little on my arms. The doctor of course says im fine..which isn’t surprising..so now im just back to being confused as to where this is coming from and what it is that i am or was so ridiculously angry about or resistant to! any thoughts?

— pumpkinpeanutcrittle

The problem with having such an influx of questions daily, i wish these messages had dates lol. I can’t remember when we had mercury retrograde I think it was October-November? In General, the time period between the Autumnal Equinox and the Vernal equinox is a symbolic time for reflection, clearing, releasing and big time subconscious territory. So the energy is always wonky around these months, it’s very spacy. Of course with Subconscious territory there is lots of ego that comes to the surface for clearing and growth. 

Colds and sinus infections are very common during these months. Our sinuses actually correlate to our pineal gland. Also all illnesses are connected to our endoctrine system which is really energy blockages that we need to heal for growth and expansion. You have what i like to call Vibrational Flu. It’s part of the many Ascension/spiritual awakening symptoms that many empaths/indigos/ starseeds/ spiritually sensitive folk go through.
There’s a list of them here: http://www.sunfell.com/symptoms.htm

As for the emotional upheaval, i think it relates to what many of us have been experiencing lately excessive empathy. I think we’ve reached a point where the barriers are lifting which means the power of thought is influencing our actions and emotions. There’s just all this energy running around rampant right now. Your consciousness is very much like an elevator of emotions. When you’re having a bad day your energy is depleted, very low negative vibration, your angry, irritable, depressed, upset, your ego is on full power where you’re constantly hearing this mind chatter, you’re basically in the basement of your consciousness. I get like this when i don’t get enough sleep lol. When we decide to raise our emotions into a positive, loving, caring, compassionate energy we’re raising our vibrations going up the elevator. Were like a ball of energy going up and down like an elevator through the dimensional realms of consciousness. Now this is our own energy, what happens when you listen in on other’s frequencies? You’re basically reading into the other’s negative ions. We live in a black hole universe where our Auras are a torus field or Blackhole composed of negative and positive ions that oscillate by a given frequency that you put out with your mind. 

When you read into the energies of other people, you have to have a clear mind and feel them rather than think over them.  The key structure is acknowledging that the when you don’t look people in the eyes or within their own aura field, you will only be reading their own aura patterns therefore you are only hearing yourself. You infuse negative ions into your aura known as dark energy so instead all you hear are your own thought patterns versus listening to other people’s energy and giving back to them. it creates blocked energy flow. However when you have a conversation with someone, you listen with a clear mind or by looking at them in the eyes you’re reading into their focal point which is the third eye, the central region of the forehead. It takes practice and mind discipline but it really does help. Why do you think so many people can’t look into other eyes? They’re not getting a clear reading. Especially if you’re having a bad day, looking into the eyes of someone you love or a friend really makes your day a bit brighter. Do you ever have days where you’re thinking of someone who is distant from you and all of a sudden your mind is just consumed with all these thoughts of jealousy, anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. You’re thinking of all of these ego illusions because you are not near the person you are thinking about, when you calm down clear your head and then feel with the heart. It’s a different story. You need balance to embrace this in totality which only happens when you link your heart with another of true love, compassion and kindness. It’s all about listening ultimately and learning to control your thoughts.

Hope it helps and makes sense lol <3

Ash

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Ashley

Spiritual Coach & Teacher at The Awakened State
Ashley is the founder of The Awakened State, where she helps others understand the process of Kundalini Awakening through tools, exercises & personal experience. Her mission is to guide others to discover their unlimited potential and how we can move beyond our fears to create New Empowered Paradigms. She teaches others to Dismantle Resistance,Live Beyond Fear and Start Awakening Their Inner Creator. When she’s not blogging,she’s netflixing with her man or playing with her two crazy little ones.
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