How to spiritually progress in a household of anger

Healing Hands

I have read a lot on how before we are born we choose our parents.  What is your take on this?  Also, I’ve been having a hard time accepting my father.  For years, he has emotionally and physically hurt my mother and in turn emotionally hurt me.  ( He still lives with us)  Because of this, it has been hard for me to emotionally progress spiritually in a household filled with immense anger.  How can I still work on my progression without feeling anger towards him?
It’s been hard for me to constantly forgive him (even though he never asks to be forgiven or acknowledges the actions done). On a daily bases, I try to control myself but many times fail and react harshly to his negativity towards me & my mother. In a way, I feel I must protect her from him but doing so I am filled with this negativity. I’ve struggle for years with anger and self-hatred. I know I am very sensitive to the energies around me and find myself adsorbing his. Recently,I’ve began to meditate with a rose quartz and really try to change and love him.However, it’s so difficult. I can’t begin to explain all the damage he has done.I am constantly being told to forgive him and not hold this in me.I do not want this darkness in me anymore. I feel guilt for feeling this way and find myself crying all the time and hating myself more. A part of me really wishes to mend things, but talking it out with him never works. Do you have any advice for me? thank you(par

I apologize for the 3 part question, but thank you for reading this and sharing your input. I truly appreciate this.
~ Anonymous
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Our reality is basically set into the akashic records that means we do have choices but fundamentally our reality is based upon our own soul contracts. Each person is different depending on their karma and also depending on their lessons on their life path. We do choose our parents, yes but you have to realize that everything happens for a reason regardless if you understand that reason or not. It’s meant to be, we can’t question we have to form self-acceptance with ourselves. With life in general, we have to surrender and realize that while it may seem like people are suffering  the divine will always take care of us. All this pain you see and feel is illusion.
There is true power in forgiveness. Everything arises from an internal conflict with ourselves. For everything that arises within you is projected out into the external world. When you are angry with someone, your anger is a result of an internal conflict with yourself. This is what happened to your father through his own karmic bonds he has become addicted to anger which arises from his own inner turmoil that has messed with his own chakras. He’s angry at himself for something, anger usually stems from control issues, the need to be in control from the fear of lack of control. I wouldn’t doubt that his father or someone close to him was rough on him as well. His inner anger at himself projected out and unfortunately hurt your mother in return. You have to forgive him, even though it is hard, know that this hate arose from some inner part of your father. We all carry good and dark, light and dark inside of us, there’s still some love in there, you have to find that part of yourself that accepts and forgives despite differences, despite hatred, find your center.
You can block your energy you don’t have to be absorbed in his energy field all the time. Learn to use shielding and visualization techique to help you block out psychic attack basically. You have to still take into accountable of yourself, despite your love for your mother and your need to protect her. Working on your Root and your Heart Chakra would help you a lot i think, especially the heart chakra. Rose Quartz is a great friend 🙂 You’re on the right track, find a way to stimulate this hate and anger into some good instead of internalizing it. You have to release it. Why do you hate yourself?  There is no need to hate yourself, what have you even done wrong?  This is HIS problem and issues not yours or your mothers. You need to find your own self-worth again and realize this is not your fault nor do you need to judge anyone. It’s okay to cry, you need to release these emotions. Write them down in a journal, or do something creative with these emotions, you have to release because you are blocking off your heart chakra by hating yourself. When it is most important to love yourself and all that you are, despite whatever may have happened within your life. If you can’t talk to him about you, you need to talk to yourself. I know that sounds weird but you have to come to a point of acceptance with yourself and realize that none of this is YOU. Find the love again. Listen to your heart and not your Ego, know that everything is happening for a reason for your own spiritual growth. Realize there will always be hardships in this world, but the amazing part about life is we all have pain and suffering but it takes courage and determination to face ourselves, face our burdens crawl into the darkness of our souls and truly embrace all that we are, the good and the bad, the ugly and the beautiful, so then we can carry on and finally be happy again.
Much love and healing to you
I wish you well on your own journey, you can do this
be Strong, Stronger than ever.
Ash
Ashley
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