Crushes

I need help! PLEASE! I’m going through an emotional crisis right now. Actually, I’ve been going through this for a year now. There’s this girl with whom I thought I just had a crush on. I’ve had crushes before and they would last for like a month or two but what I’m experiencing right now has lasted for a year now and still continuing. Anyway, this girl was in my class and I just liked everything about her. All of her perfections and imperfections. Never had the courage to talk to her as in ask her out on a date or something like that, and she moved away. I can not get her out of my head. I’ve never had this problem with any girl. But why her? We have a lot in  common though, like our birthdays, zodiac sign, from the same state, have the same views on life, like the same music. Hell, we pretty much have the same personality. Well, we do. I’m going to sound like a creep for this but every once in a while I’ll check her instagram to see what she’s been up to(I know, and I’m ashamed about it).

Well, she has a boy friend now and when I found that out, it hurt like hell. But the crazy thing is, I’m still IN LOVE with her. WTH! Haha! I cant get this girl out of my head! But yeah, they post pics of them kissing and stuff and I’m hurting myself even more. Sigh…she’s the first person I think about when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. And guess what? I’m still crazy about her.This has been going on for too long for me. Oh and Btw, this isn’t the first guy she has been with since she left. She’s not a slut and she’s like a really good girl. It just sucks that I’m not with her and it hurts SO bad. And I think to myself sometimes, “Is this guy the one she spends the rest of her life with?” Her boyfriend now has been on and off but she’s with him. I try to just forget her and tell myself, if it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be.

I’ve known about astral projection and LOA for a while now, so I wait just KNOWING I will be with her ONE DAY. But then I keep seeing what she’s up to and she’s still with him and then my mind is flooded with all of these what if questions and then I have doubt about being with her. It’s eating me alive and tearing me apart. So I tried astral projection again (I used to practice it and only got to the paralysis stage) in hopes of getting to my akashic records to see that if I keep continuing my current path in life, will I meet her again and will we be together. So far no luck. I can’t even get to the paralysis stage anymore. I feel like she’s the girl I’m destined to be with because I don’t want any other girl. I don’t know what the hell I’m going through.

Why the strong attachment to her? What should I do and how do I go about the situation? Should I really let her go after all this time?

But the real question I ask myself. Do I want to be with her because…I can’t have her? What if her and I don’t end up together. If she ever marries this guy I have to let her go. But I would never be in love with any other girl. I mean this girl is pretty but, I’m not in love with her because of breast or butt and stuff like that but I’m deeply in love with her. Just her being who she is as a person. She’s so kind and not like other girls. She likes to to have fun but doesn’t do anything crazy you know.

I feel she’s perfect for me.

I’ve always wanted to ask you this, about what should I do but I couldn’t because I was limited in the ask box. Hehe…

But yeah, anything you can tell me? Advice? Anything will do.

~~~~~

Okay…I remember these days especially in high school when i would just obsess about the boys i was infatuated with so i can completely understand where you are coming from but i’m also going to tell you the hard truth.

Love is about communication and getting to know the person inside and out, It’s about self love as much as it’s about sharing that love with another. relationships teach us our deepest mirror of ourselves so when you say you are feel a romantic love for someone who you are infatuated with is to say you are in love with the idea of love. Society has this way of placing so many attachments on love and relationships instead of learning to step outside of our box and communicate with them, we OBSESS about them and all these pondering ideas of being together and how love should be. Love is truly simple deep down. It’s about unconditional love, not wanting anything from the other person in return except to give love to eachother. It’s about communication and honesty with a lot of trust.

Love is about developing self love to attract that love into your life, if you don’t have love for yourself how can you share with another? Many people find themselves falling in love with the idea of the person instead of actually the person themselves.  There’s a huge difference between romantic love and unconditional love. When we fall in love with the idea of a person, we are consumed with fantasies that are not grounded in reality, It’s essentially like falling for someone you never met or spoke to before but you just like the way they look and talk. We can feel attracted to someone for the reason of these ideas of how we want to see love rather than becoming love ourselves.

Everyone is a mirror to ourselves so your reason of feeling so strongly attracted to this person is the reason for you feeling your need for love in your life. However the most important lesson of all is to feel that love inside of you to then attract that love back at you. It’s truly a two way street, deep down it’s all about self-love.

I won’t tell you whether or not you should let her go because this is your choice and your heart. This is all about learning to see love from a different perspective, this is what these messages are trying to show you. It’s about seeing yourself from the eyes of others <3

There is someone out there for everyone i truly believe that, we are like puzzle pieces shaped out of clay, we all have a divine counterpart and energy match but first you have to start with finding love within yourself <3

I hope this helps

much love and healing

Ash

 

Ashley
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