i want to die, i hate living in this world so much , i love nature and animals and i think everything is so absolutely beautiful and magical , and then there’s us humans , destroying everything , so angry and scared and i hate it , i am so ashamed of being part of this it makes me so sad, and not knowing if i’m supposed to continue looking for some great truth or just live an ordinary boring life and wait to die is kiling me , i just need a fucking sign that it’s be worth waiting a little longer
I’m sorry you feel this way, Death or suicide for that matter really isn’t the answer all that does is promote more karma bonds and cycles of lessons for you to understand connection between people. Death is only illusion it is not an escape. One thing that always stood really strong with me was when i first awakened into the world of energy and i was so upset because like you i was in tears thinking god why are the people so cruel, why would they continue to cause so much pain in this world? It’s always been my life’s objective to help others my friends, my family, random strangers or people at the grocery store i don’t know it’s just my nature but when i was in this spot questioning the world. My reiki teacher Diane told me something very special she said “there are two worlds out there, you can see hell or you can see heaven but all has it’s purpose and place” “you look out and you see hell, destruction, pain, torture, etc. but i look outside the window and i see heaven, i see the trees giving life to us, the birds singing, i see a child and a smile” Life is all about our perception. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose whether or not we understand it.
Another thing she told me was her husband is always reading the paper and he was really upset that someone decided to steal all the toys from a church’s charity event but then a week later that church received TRIPLE the amount of what they already had lost for the children. Karma is always working, some are more conscious of it than others but the Hermetic principles are very real. Cause and effect truly takes place and all has it’s purpose. We can fret in anger and sadness over the world or we can look for the good in life and find happiness in life. There is a lot of good out there if you are willing to see it. When we try to change the world we are forgetting that we also need to change ourselves to change our perception of the world. it’s the same principle of you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves first, it’s the worst feeling of a healer or a loved one but it’s very true. You have to find the good in people otherwise this pain will only destroy you. You have to find the good in yourself especially yourself otherwise your perception of the world will be laced in pain. Do you see what i’m trying to say?
We can hate all we want and be angry all we want but it isn’t changing the world. It is changing YOUR WORLD. Your perception changes when your thoughts change. Everything happens for a reason this is why we have the circle of life, whether people want to argue or not, the circle of life still exists. If i could only show you how the world is from the perspective of dmt, it would entirely change your entire life. The world is beautiful and it’s more than just nature and animals, there are beautiful people out there for we are ALL connected. The world is like God’s cosmic playground and the light and dark ones essentially duke it out to balance our planet and release our karmic debt through eachother. Love is the basis of existence, not only of nature and the animals but also of other people including the ones who are still in the dark and still feel lost in this world. You truly have to take yourself out of the equation to see that the miraculousness of living itself is truly beautiful. Not only are we healing eachother, our thoughts, our actions our deeds are all helping eachother succeed.
You may feel you want to die but if you just spent an hour truly listening to other people and their own situations just like yours maybe you would start to change your mind. There are so many other people out there that feel this way and what they are forgetting is that we are all connected. Your pain is my pain and her pain is his pain and maybe he doesn’t feel he not only hates the world but deep down he hates himself. It starts with belief. believing in YOU. finding happiness again, don’t let them hold you down you need to find yourself and find what makes you happy. You need not only to find this part of yourself but you need to see that there are so many beautiful things in this world that outweigh the bad in the world. There may be bad days but it always helps us appreciate the good ones. Sure there is bad people out there but that shouldn’t stop us from being our own complete and peaceful self. Everything happens for a reason, death, life, birth and through this you start to see the magic in just being alive. There is beauty in simplicity, a simple walk in nature, a smile from someone you love, a long hot bubble bath, a good book, smelling the rain, there are so many things to enjoy about this world.
Life is all about your projection of it, how you see it, defines yourself.
i hope this helps you
If you feel no one cares out there, I do <3
much love and healing to you
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