i have something called “intrusive thoughts,” caused either by PTSD or undiagnosed OCD (doubtful) and I keep having a thought intrude of my boyfriend dying. You can’t easily consciously control “intrusive thoughts” and so I’m afraid I’m unintentionally putting energy into the creation of his death.
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were you the one that wrote to me during retrograde as well? I’m sorry i meant to get to your question but i also figured i covered what was happening in my post awhile ago about retrograde and how the illusions of our emotions and insecurities can get in the way of our personal clarity.
I don’t think you can actually manifest someone’s death, i mean thoughts are very powerful and so is the law of attraction but what i see here is a pure fear of separation. To do something like that there would have to be a karmic bond involved and i truly don’t see that case here. This is illusion. You probably love your boyfriend so much that you are afraid of losing him, this fear is causing you unnecessary insecurities about your relationship. This is totally fear of future and honestly it’s natural to experience a variation of this because your love is so strong you are afraid of separation. The thing you really have to remember is you are not your thoughts. What do you feel? in this moment. this present moment. are you happy, are you both happy? do you both love each other?
This is what you have to remember you are the creator of your reality, you don’t want to spend your energy wasted on unnecessary worries of future or regrets of the past. This is also an attachment issue, you have to see that he loves you for you and he isn’t going anywhere. This attachment fear is truly clouding your judgment. You need to release these thoughts of anxiety and worry otherwise you could end up having a panic attack with this fear. You need to see that what you are doing is basically cycling these projections of future speak over and over because it is haunting you and ultimately you just need to release the idea of this fear, this thought that is plaguing you, you need to release it. I highly suggest meditation for this type of issue. Your boyfriend will always be connected to you because we are all infinitely connected at the heart. And let me tell you, death is truly an illusion because we are eternal light beings. We live countless lives together and through our love that love carries on into different lifetimes and beyond. So when we spread too much time attached to these ideas, we lose ourselves within them. I’m feeling an Osho Passage:
”Love is the only freedom from attachment when you love everything you are attached to nothing.
In fact one has to understand the very phenomenon of attachment. Why do you cling to something? Because you are afraid you will lose it. Perhaps somebody may steal it. Your fear is that what is available to you today may not be available to you tomorrow.
Who knows about what is going to happen tomorrow? The woman you love or the man you love — either movement is possible: you may come closer, you may become distant. You may become again strangers or you may become so one with each other that even to say that you are two will not be right; of course there are two bodies but the heart is one, and the song of the heart is one, and the ecstasy surrounds you both like a cloud. You disappear in that ecstasy: you are not you, I am not I. Love becomes so total, love is so great and overwhelming, that you cannot remain yourself; you have to drown yourself and disappear.
In that disappearance who is going to be attached, and with whom? Everything is. When love blossoms in its totality, everything simply is. The fear of tomorrow does not arise; hence there is no question of attachment, clinging, marriage, of any kind of contract, bondage.”
Attachment is not necessary for love is always eternal.
You need to let go of these thoughts, look into your eyes of your boyfriend, tell him you love him, give him a hug and kiss and truly be in the moment. Everything is going to be okay, you are both safe and feel that deeply.
I hope this helps!
sending love and healing to you
Ash
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