Dealing with parents with our relationships

I’ve been meaning to ask you a question for quite sometime. I’ve become very spiritually aware over the past three years and for the first time in a long time, I met someone who I just feel like.. I don’t know how to explain it. We connect on a different level and it feels like I’m meeting him again, not like I’m getting to know him. My dilemma is that things are advancing quickly (which I don’t mind) but my parents would never let us be together. I feel hopeless because I am deceiving my parents (which is guilting me so bad – it’s weighing on my soul) and I’m also deceiving him because eventually I am going to break his heart. This has been going on for about five months. I know from the deepest part of my heart that I shouldn’t let him go, but I also know that I cannot go against my parents’ word. Thanks 🙂

— perfectionisagonyTo me this is a classic case of “no one is good enough for our daughter/son” because my parents play the same card. I’ll throw you my opinion, Listen to your heart truly. Why does it matter what your parents think, are they dating him, are they sleeping with him, are they connecting with him? Just because you love someone different than who their ideal person is for you doesn’t mean you are disowning your parents. You love the person you love because you love them. You are being yourself. You have to think about this, what do you feel is the most beneficial for yourself, not them. My parents have this classic way of always trying to guilt trip me into things i don’t want to do or be with people i dont’ enjoy being with and after i became an adult. I’ve had enough of that. You are not a rag doll or a puppet with strings, you are a person with your own thoughts, actions, opinions, beliefs, love who YOU want to love because honestly if i listened to my parents view of who they wanted me to date, i would be so lost right now probably not even happy in a relationship i don’t even want to be in and i never would of even awakened possibly. So you have to ask yourself, are you going to do it for them or are you going to do it for you? To me it sounds like you are living in guilt because of your parents opinions and ideals of who THEY want you to be, not who you truly are. It’s an unconscious way of controlling someone because they want the best for you. It’s the same scenerio of a parent forcing their kid to do good in school even though they are struggling but they have to get that scholarship to get a bachelors degree in whatever the parent thinks will succeed them in life.

We love our parents but you also have to remember they are not running your show, YOU are. For instance, what if you do give in and break up with him because of your parents, what if you just gave up on on following your true heart and possible soul mate who you have a past connection with, you don’t really know. What if another guy comes around, is your parents going to disown you for him too? You really have to think about this, they are unconsciously controlling you in this way within your relationships and you are the only one that can put your foot down.

This is just my opinion, do what you want to do this is your choice, but always listen to your own intuition and your own heart. The more we care about others opinions of us the more we are evolving into them, not ourselves. There’s a quote i just saw today that fits perfect.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu

Sometimes we have to bit the bullet and do what is best for ourselves rather than them. Taking a leap of faith is daring but i promise you you’ll be happier in the end because you’re doing it for yourself <3

love <3

Ash

 

Ashley
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