I’ve been taking a break with all these overwhelming feelings and emotional upheavals i’ve been going through as the energy has been crazy lately up until the last few days.I just wanted to stop thinking about ascension for once and just be Ashley for a couple of days and somehow find ‘normalcy’ even though it really doesn’t exist lol. But through it, i realized some things, Life IS already perfect. Life is truly beautiful. we are ALL in this together.
I cannot change the fact that i am a horse of a different color, who can read energy of people, has innate healing abilties and can read into my past lives to determine the course of my life. Trying to pretend and live in doubt anymore is just like lying to myself, i am unique and so are all of you. Doubt went out the window a long time ago, so no matter how long you want to continue to think that you are delusional, that you aren’t real, that derealization just causes you to be in depression and angst or that you are crazy. I am here to tell you that you ARE real and you are not crazy. You are soooo real that even within the spiritual community we forget the simple things, the joy of just being alive. I will continue with this blog if i don’t answer questions for a bit it is due to the fact that i keep sensing i shouldn’t right now. I have helped so many people but in doing so I forgot the simple joy of just being, just living, I have my heart chakra so wide open it spreads for miles, I try to help people 24/7 everywhere i go and while that is a great idea that everyone in this world should do we also need to stop ourselves sometimes and just smell the roses.
I guess i didn’t realize how caught up i was within all of this and it took leaving school, leaving my old apartment, moving back home and having a couple days off of work to figure this out. But i didn’t realize how exhausted i was…I was constantly torn with school anxieties trying to fit up to my parents expectations, trying to devote time to the blog questions each day, trying to research quantum physics, documentaries, astral travel, ascension, etc. I was OBSESSED and i just need to chill out lol. But since the 21st it’s like a triple whammy on me with emotional fluxes, empathy increasing, it’s hard enough to juggle a full time job working five-six days a week but it’s even harder when you can read the energy of everyone around you and are constantly bombarded with ego thoughts because of the vast imbalances of this world. So learning how to channel different emotions and negate them so you don’t lash out at people is exhausting. I tried to heal my coworkers by crystals and locking eyes in conversations which is something and then i tried to heal my parents, and i tried to heal my boyfriend and i tried to heal and help and heal and help…and research and research and research….then finally on my day off i just stopped. I stopped everything. I told Adam I am just exhausted. I have been so caught up within my own mind that i worn myself out. So I relaxed, i listened to music, i played with my computer and instead of thinking about everything going on within my life including ascension and energies, i just said to my mind ‘no. You need to get your energy back and heal yourself’. I kid you not that entire day was so peaceful. My dad even apologized for getting into a fight with me, I cleaned my car out which i haven’t done since summer lol, I played with my dogs, I went outside, I cleaned my room, by releasing everything all thoughts, i was free of burdens, i was fully present. I actually just enjoyed myself in totality. In complete Peace.
Being away from school this semester has done wonders for me, i can actually enjoy my days off, instead of juggling everything, constantly with an expiration date I am in control. I am eternally grounded within Gaia’s energies and Ascension is merely a state of mind. Be the change to wish to see in the world.
So I wrote all this out to say, I know there are others out there who are as intensely about this as i am on a daily basis. However my experiences over the past few weeks have lead me to discover that humans forget the very basis of being alive and just living. We are constantly thrown messages of pure distraction, even within the spiritual community! If you are not thrown in ego thoughts of constant fear, worry anxiety and doubt, you are constantly thrown in ways to improve yourself or try to enhance your abilities or intuition. Don’t you get it, you are still in past and future even when you think these things! You are the creator, the power lies within the thought. You are already perfect. Osho is so right. You are divine creators, healers, builders and teachers. You don’t need anything external to tell you so, it is eternally inside of you and has been for aeons of time.
You are cosmic infinite light shining your warm hearts emanating from within your soul with each person you encounter on a daily basis. By looking people into their eyes when speaking to them and instead of thinking over them, you need to LISTEN. Become purely Silent and just Listen to them speak, listen to what their soul is pouring out to you. Listen with your heart. Relationships and friendships are truly wonderful when processed correctly because we cannot do this alone, we are all in this together as one. By linking our hearts with eachother we grow in understanding, communication, awareness, honesty and true divine love which activates the heart chakra in totality. Every one of this earth has a divine counterpart that they will find to share experiences over centuries of time both the good and the bad but they are connected eternally through divine love. This is not your twin flame which is your masculine and feminine energy aligned to activate the kundalini this is another soul, who is as awaken and divine as you, your true equal, your true divine mirror reflected by divine love. For we are all linked together as gods and goddesses unified in equality as one. There is never separation, you are always connected by love through the divine communal frequency that radiates at the crystalline core of our Mother Earth <3
Life is so beautiful when you just stop thinking and start feeling your own soul. your heart.
Stop talking and start LISTENING.
Listen truly and deeply.
And feel. not with your fingers but your eyes, your heart, Go outside and instead of just thinking randomly just soak up the sun on your back, listen to the birds sing, feel the breeze of the trees as they shake off their leaves, look at how the earth moves, how the earth feels, then you can touch it but don’t touch it with your hands….touch it with your heart. Push your mind into the sky and become the universe itself, become the earth, become the tree, become the grass, the dirt, the bird flying…lifting it’s wings and just soaring infinitely into eternity.
Then you will realize there are three best teachers in life.
The first is your Ego. Your thoughts. Watch them. What we think we become. Your thoughts shape who you Think you are, but not who you are. They show you obstacles. They show you strength. They show you fear. They show you weakness. humility. Doubt. Anger. Depression. Grief. Anxiety. Fear of future. It enables a projection but not one of truth, it enables a lesson from pure illusion. Life is merely about mind constructs and how to deconstruct those mind conditionings by taking control of your thoughts.
The Second is Nature. The most primal. Tribal power within us. There is no need to ground. For you are already grounded eternally within the Earth. Some think they need to ground and they do but the deepest realization of grounding is realizing that you and the earth are one. Therefore the sense of ‘grounding my energies’ is quite nonsensical because the energy you radiate resonates in tune with Mother Earth. And you can hear her all the time, talking back to you, through the wind, the scratching thunderstorms, crying with the rain, singing with the birds, croaking like the frogs in the pond, She’s always there. She’s always listening and you have to see that the earth is alive. She more alive than most of humanity. She is awake.
The Third is Yourself. You are always and will always be your own guru. No book, no rule, no education system, no parent, no sibling, no school teacher, no idol, no website, no one is more important to your ability of infinite potential than you. You are your own sacred Teacher. There are many who help us on our pathways, i guess you could say each human being we love and encounter is a teacher to our own soul’s karmic flow and release. So i could write everyone really but in actuality the most important teacher is YOU. All the answers are inside of you. You are the universe. Everything external comes from your internal reality for they link together by merging your left brain and your right into one. The only person, place, thing or manifestation that is holding you back from doubt, from fear, from growth, from change is you. You need to love yourself, You need to believe in yourself, You need to have faith in yourself, you need to cherish your life and the people in it, you need to be kind to yourself, you need to not tell yourself you are dumb or stupid or useless or used or pathetic or hopeless or any of that. The only way you can get around this is if you acknowledge that you are eternally infinite and god is never outside of you but lives within you forever.
So i wrote all of this chapter to tell you all these things because i feel they are important for everyone right now. I sense this as a period to just BE. Just be alive. Life shouldn’t have to be so plagued in worry, anxiety and fear, life shouldn’t have to be so burdensome. The Universe does not want us to suffer, Life should be happy, joyful, playful, fun and even euphoric heavenly bliss.
I feel this is like a point of buying time something is in development but this is the calm before the storm and the universe is telling us, it is over. Take a break. Rest. Sleep. Spend time with loved ones, Make love, Sing, be happy, be healthy, don’t let the thoughts get to you, don’t let them control your world. Don’t become a slave to your own thoughts.
We can all achieve inner peace i know we can. Life doesn’t have to be so complicated, people make it that way but a little thing called ‘time’ which is completely man-made. Did you know watches, clocks and certain electronics only work because they have a Crystal Quartz within them? We created ‘Time’ to put us within a blackhole loop karmic pattern of constant thought patterns and when you do this, you are completely imbalanced. There is regular time and then there is psychological Time. You can’t get rid of regular time, unfortunately but you CAN get rid of psychological time. By becoming an observer of your own thoughts and taking control.
I realized by removing all burdens within my psyche and just surrendering into the eternal flow instead of constantly fighting the current. I was able to swim at ease, at peace.
So i wish for you all to just stop. Stop researching, stop thinking so hard about ascension all the time. Stop consuming your mind with constant thought patterns about what you should or shouldn’t do what you can or can’t eat, don’t read every food label in existence, nothing will harm you, you are golden light infinitely free, stop freaking out about chemicals and how it’s going to hurt your pineal gland, it’s just fear tactics, they get you everywhere, just stop thinking, enjoy your food, enjoy your coffee, enjoy no limitations and instead of worrying about all this nonsense that they keep plagued into our minds constantly on a daily basis. I want you to just enjoy yourself for once. Let go into the flow of true reality. Let go and LIVE. Have a day where you are completely free, free not only your day but your spirit, your soul, just let go. completely. Completely. Surrender. Listen with your heart and feel. Surrender into the universe, surrender into yourself and see where it takes you on this vast journey called life. 🙂
I send my love